CounselingBlog

From Tom Peters...

100 Ways to Succeed-  #6

"Consider this a variation on a debate in the Tom Peters weblog over the number of priorities a person can have.  Well, I 'm settling it.

One!

Here's the deal.  It's 5 a.m. (09.28.2004) as I write. I have a day crammed full of miscellaneous (that dreaded word!) activities ahead, ending with a flight from Boston to London.  But the ... THE...Pressing Question is:  What Will (in one sentence) THE LEGACY OF THIS DAY HAVE BEEN FOR TP?

Yes, I believe a Single Day can have as much of a "legacy" as a lifetime.  In fact, that had better be the case!  Why?  Because the day ... stretching out before me ... filled (at the moment) with limitless opportunities ...is...ALL I HAVE!

RIGHT?

JUST ANOTHER DAY?

HARDLY!

THIS IS IT!

All those things ... grand and numdane ... I want to do with my life will either be abetted or thwarted or put off or ignored int he course of ...THIS ONE, UNFURLING DAY.

So:  What (One Sentence) will Today's Legacy be ... for You?"

 

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Cynthia McKenna, LPC, NCC

www.cynthiamckenna.com

www.counseling.typepad.com

 

Help! Money Problems!

Credit card debt - yuck.

I have had a lot of it, and paid it off, and now have some debt again.  Working for a non-profit has not left a whole lotta money for paying off the balances, and though I am lucky enough to have low interest rates - they still accrue interest.

I was having dinner with friends recently, and they suggested I do a "debt snowball."  I like snow and haven't been able to make a snowball since I left Tulsa four years ago - so I asked my friend to explain. 

He told me about this money guy, Dave Ramsey, who has a plan to get out of debt.  The idea is to pay your very smallest debt first - disregardiing the interest rate - pay off the small debt.  Then, use that same payment money to add to your payment for the next smallest debt, etc.  Focusing your energy on one debt, and getting that debt out of the way, causes a "snowball" effect on your bills - they get paid off more quickly and overall, you end up paying less in interest.

I really had to think about this idea - for a long time.  It almost seems counter-intuitive, until you start doing it.  But when you watch that first bill go down to zero, you get encouraged.  And, if you buy his books or see the DVD's, you start to feel more powerful with money, and less manipulated by the credit card companies.

I am trying this debt snowball - and I'll let you know how it goes.  So far, listening to the CD's on debt, and saving have helped me change my habits.

There is a lot more to Dave's plan, getting an emergency fund established, setting a budget, paying everything with cash or debit card - but the snowball is a great place to begin.

If you are interested, check out his website or listen to him on radio or podcast.

Happy Monday,
Cynthia
*************
Cynthia McKenna, LPC, NCC
Counseling & LIfe Coaching
www.cynthiamckenna.com
CounselingBlog

Encouragement

"Good job!"

"Well done."

When was the last time you said something encouraging to your partner? 

We adults are generally pretty good about speaking up when our kids do something special.  We are even good at telling our dogs that they are being pleasant.

Why is it, I wonder, that we forget to tell our spouse that we are proud of them.  We can admire their work ethic,  their willingness to take on new challenges, or simply that he or she did a fantastic job on the lawn.

Everyone appreciates a "pat on the back" occasionally.  I wonder how the environment in our homes would change if we practiced giving encouragement to each other.

It takes such a small effort, and it can feel so very good.
Cynthia
*************
www.cynthiamckenna.com
www.counseling.typepad.com

Kitchen excitement

The Lemongrass Girls is a cool new blog that offers food writing, cooking tips, and generally great foodie information.

Dina, at www.wordfeeder.com invited me to be an honorary Lemongrass Girl - which really is an honor for me.  Dina and Ann are great writers and obvious lovers of food - so i am in fantastic company.

Check out the link and you can read about my new love, and while you are there, poke around a bit and see what other tidbits you can munch on.

Cynthia
*************
www.cynthiamckenna.com
CounselingBlog
Creating Healthy Relationships and oodles of cookies...

Shortbread Dreams

How about some shortbread...

My friend, Ann Zuccardy, is the creative and culinary spark behind The Vermont Shortbread Company.  Ann began Vermont Shortbread Company so that she could stay home with her young daughter.  Now, as her daughter has grown, so has her business and she is shipping her delicious shortbreads all over the place.

Last month, Ann gifted me with a delicious lemon curd shortbread.  It arrived on a Friday, in a lovely green box with terrific wrapping which kept the shortbread very fresh.  Mmmmmm.  We ate half of it with our tea that afternoon.

On Sunday, Ann dropped me a note saying that her shortbread freezes very well.  I am sure it does, and that is a helpful hint - but it never made it past Sunday afternoon tea.

Next time, I'll try to freeze some.

Why not visit The Vermont Shortbread Company and order some shortbread for yourself, or for holiday or corporate gifts?  This is a wonderful, deliciously edible, way to say, "I am thinking about you."

Thanks Ann,
Cynthia
www.cynthiamckenna.com
The CounselingBlog

Renewal

This has been a difficult week.  Our friend Lesley Marcus died and our hearts are heavy with her passing.

Then there is new life - I am offering extended office hours in my practice.  Creating the new hours offers a chance for some new clients to come into my practice - and that is always such a joy and blessing.

I have to do a lot of writing this weekend - so there will be a new post or two here.  I am also starting a website geared toward counseling specifically for lesbians, so that will be up and running quite soon.

And, I have decided to make some peanut butter cookies this weekend.  If you are in the area, you might watch for me dropping by your business with cookies in hand.
Cynthia
*************
www.cynthiamckenna.com
www.counseling.typepad.com

Lesley Marcus

Lesley Marcus died this morning from lung cancer - she will be greatly missed.  Our prayers are with her family. 

Cynthia
*************
www.cynthiamckenna.com

How honest are you?

There are different kinds of honesty - I think. 

There is the, "You gave me too much change" kind of honesty.  I recently heard a story on NPR about a homeless man finding thousands of dollars and giving it back - I believe he was richly rewarded.

There is the person who has strong boundaries and says, "No, I don't want to do that" when invited to something they don't want to do - the "don't mince words" kind of honesty.

Then there is honesty between partners - and while this seems clear cut - "It is good to be honest with your partner" it can get a little less clear cut.

I don't always say I am upset about something when I feel annoyed with my partner.  I choose, for good or for ill, to say things are "fine." 

Maybe I am acting childish and not wanting to admit it.  Maybe it isn't worth the energy to say, "I feel really mad right now because ..."  Maybe I just don't want to have a confrontation about a subject and I imagine my truth telling would cause hurt feelings.

Is this dishonest?  Is it the normal blurry navigation between people who love each other? 

How do you deal with this?  I would love to know.  You can write a comment using the tab underneath this post - or send me an email.

What constitutes honesty in a relationship? How important is complete honesty to you? 

Cynthia
*************
Creating Peace
www.cynthiamckenna.com
www.counseling.typepad.com