November 17, 2006 --
No
one will deny that Martha Stewart displays a truly elegant holiday presentation.
But is it possible that along with lavish tables, Martha is setting expectations
for the holidays a bit too high? Human psychology experts say yes.
Each
year from mid-November to January, Cynthia McKenna, therapist and owner of
Cynthia McKenna Counseling and Life Coaching at http://www.cynthiamckenna.com, helps individuals
and couples cope with holiday anxiety. Pressure to be all things to all people
takes its toll on our physical and mental health, and detracts from what the
holidays are supposed to be - a time of peace, joy, tradition, and celebration
with loved ones.
According
to McKenna, "Glossy magazines, television specials, commercials, and even
our own fantasies can get us into holiday trouble. And while Martha Stewart
isn't directly to blame for our self-inflicted stress and exhaustion, Americans
will do well to have a reality check this holiday season and take her show for
what it's meant to be: entertainment."
McKenna
continues, “Who wouldn't want a beautiful party and a table groaning with
gorgeous food? But if we are aiming for perfection, we are going to make the
holidays difficult for ourselves and our loved ones. When we see that happy,
holiday gathering, it isn't real. Martha Stewart has a staff of employees who
do the planning, decorating and most of the cooking for her hosted events. Let's
face it: in the real world, the holidays just don't play out the way they do on
TV and in our fantasies. And for the average person, trying to create the
perfect festive holiday atmosphere is more than unrealistic-- it's impossible.”
Life
Coach & Counselor, Mark C. Jones of http://www.ArtoftheSoul.com asserts, "Perfectionism
usually emerges in the twin forms of procrastination or domination. Those
are two stocking stuffers you don't want this time of year. Procrastination
is delaying decision making to the last minute so that everything is perfect -
you see this in people who are shopping at 50 stores right up to Christmas eve
to get the 'perfect' gift. Or waiting until the last minute to bake or cook
that perfect meal. But even more disturbing to your loved ones, is when
you try to control things, events, and people in an attempt to make the
holidays 'the way you think they should be.' In that chaos, everyone
around you is steam-rolled over as you set up the perfect Christmas tree or
orchestrate the perfect family photo shoot."
According
to the American Heritage Dictionary, the word "holiday" comes from
the old English Holy Day. We can stop our regular work, and eat and
relax, or work ourselves silly cooking and cleaning. Holy day or not, people
will disagree, or drink too much, or say the wrong thing. As McKenna points
out, "Holidays can be more fun if we can let other folks be themselves,
and take notice that the "special meal" is really special because the
people we care about are sharing it."
For
many people, holiday stress can escalate to the point where relationship
troubles are dredged up, substance abuse becomes a problem, and even anger and
depression must be dealt with on some level. If you would like to obtain information
about individual and couples therapy in person or by phone, visit http://cynthiamckenna.com/contact.htm
or contact Cynthia McKenna, LPC, NCC at cm@cynthiamckenna.com
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