Martha Stewart Holiday Settings: Lavish Tables, and Too-High Expectations?

November 17, 2006 -- 

No one will deny that Martha Stewart displays a truly elegant holiday presentation. But is it possible that along with lavish tables, Martha is setting expectations for the holidays a bit too high? Human psychology experts say yes.

Each year from mid-November to January, Cynthia McKenna, therapist and owner of Cynthia McKenna Counseling and Life Coaching at http://www.cynthiamckenna.com, helps individuals and couples cope with holiday anxiety. Pressure to be all things to all people takes its toll on our physical and mental health, and detracts from what the holidays are supposed to be - a time of peace, joy, tradition, and celebration with loved ones.

According to McKenna, "Glossy magazines, television specials, commercials, and even our own fantasies can get us into holiday trouble. And while Martha Stewart isn't directly to blame for our self-inflicted stress and exhaustion, Americans will do well to have a reality check this holiday season and take her show for what it's meant to be: entertainment."

McKenna continues, “Who wouldn't want a beautiful party and a table groaning with gorgeous food? But if we are aiming for perfection, we are going to make the holidays difficult for ourselves and our loved ones. When we see that happy, holiday gathering, it isn't real. Martha Stewart has a staff of employees who do the planning, decorating and most of the cooking for her hosted events. Let's face it: in the real world, the holidays just don't play out the way they do on TV and in our fantasies. And for the average person, trying to create the perfect festive holiday atmosphere is more than unrealistic-- it's impossible.”

Life Coach & Counselor, Mark C. Jones of http://www.ArtoftheSoul.com asserts, "Perfectionism usually emerges in the twin forms of procrastination or domination. Those are two stocking stuffers you don't want this time of year. Procrastination is delaying decision making to the last minute so that everything is perfect - you see this in people who are shopping at 50 stores right up to Christmas eve to get the 'perfect' gift. Or waiting until the last minute to bake or cook that perfect meal. But even more disturbing to your loved ones, is when you try to control things, events, and people in an attempt to make the holidays 'the way you think they should be.' In that chaos, everyone around you is steam-rolled over as you set up the perfect Christmas tree or orchestrate the perfect family photo shoot."

According to the American Heritage Dictionary, the word "holiday" comes from the old English Holy Day. We can stop our regular work, and eat and relax, or work ourselves silly cooking and cleaning. Holy day or not, people will disagree, or drink too much, or say the wrong thing. As McKenna points out, "Holidays can be more fun if we can let other folks be themselves, and take notice that the "special meal" is really special because the people we care about are sharing it."

For many people, holiday stress can escalate to the point where relationship troubles are dredged up, substance abuse becomes a problem, and even anger and depression must be dealt with on some level. If you would like to obtain information about individual and couples therapy in person or by phone, visit http://cynthiamckenna.com/contact.htm or contact Cynthia McKenna, LPC, NCC at cm@cynthiamckenna.com

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Comments

[Juno888]

Thanks for giving me idea how to cope up with pressure...I'll gonna check your the websites that you've posted..