Cats & Dogs

I’ve been watching my dogs try to befriend my cats. The dogs look at the cats playfully and wag their tails; they sometimes even do a “play bow” or yip in an enticing manner.

The problem is this – the cats don’t get it. Here is where the communication breaks down:

•Looking directly at a cat is a sign of dominance. The dog looks at the cat, and the cat wants to get away because this beast is being dominant.

•When cats flip their tails around, it is usually a sign of anger or annoyance. I don’t know what cats make of the tail wagging, but that happy, friendly dog gesture is lost on the cats.

•Cats don’t do “play bow” – they really don’t bow to anyone or anything, but that is another story

•My dogs are big, and their barks are loud, even the playful barks. The cats are intimidated.

I have been thinking that people can be just like dogs and cats. Many times, couples mean one thing, but their partner interprets their words or actions in a COMPLETELY different way.

When I work with couples, I love to help them “figure out” what each is saying and how they each express their feelings and needs. It is a lot like being a translator. When you can understand what your sweetie is saying, and why he/she is saying it “in that way that makes no sense to you” you can begin to really listen. You can also communicate your needs and desires more effectively if you can translate your words and actions into language your partner can understand.

If your communication could use some help, give me a call. I’ll be glad to help you translate!

Cynthia
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Cynthia McKenna Counseling
www.cynthiamckennacounseling.com
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