Holiday Stress - Families

Holidays and families - they can be a wonderful mix, and sometimes, families can bring on a whole lotta stress.

Think about it - we go to the house we were raised in. In that house are familiar smells, familiar objects, and lots and lots of memories that have been tucked away.

Those memories might be happy ones, but they can just as easily be bad memories, old resentments and unhealthy behavior patterns. Suddenly, you can find yourself acting childish, reacting to others around you, and being generally miserable.

So what can you do?

• If your family always gets into arguments during the holidays, there is every reason to expect arguing this year, too. It is easy to get caught up in wishing that the family were different, or somehow better, or… This wishing is okay, but it can ruin our holidays if we are focusing on the ways people don’t measure up.
• Recognize (and maybe say out loud) that no family is perfect. You might try saying to yourself, “Yes, that is how Grandpa always is,” or even sigh with relief that you have moved out of the dysfunction and now are only a visitor.
• If you need to, don't stay as long at family gatherings. Limiting your time together can also limit the emotional struggles.
• Remember you can always decide to do something different for the holidays. You might be expected to go to family gatherings, but you could choose to travel during the holidays, or stay home with your own family and start new traditions.

Cynthia

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Cynthia McKenna Counseling
CounselingBlog

Comments

[Dina at Wordfeeder.com]

I LOVE Norman Rockwell!

Thank you for posting this, you made my day.

Despite this, why don't family members behave normally? Ah, questions that cannot be answered.

[Cynthia McKenna LPC, NCC]

The holidays are so loaded with expectations and emotions. When we are stressed, we tend to revert to old behaviors - regress might be a better word. Our very worst selves can come out - Wishing families would be "normal" is okay, expecting them to be is where we get in trouble.

I love this picture too -
Cynthia
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http://www.cynthiamckennacounseling.com
http://www.counselingbog.com