CounselingBlog

Just one more...

I hope your holidays are filed with good friends, good food, and good cheer.
Cynthia

New York City & Me

O Holy Night

Merry Christmas to all the readers of CounselingBlog! ~ Cynthia

Reducing Stress - Inner Christmas

A dear friend sent me this link - inviting us to an Inner Christmas. The idea is to take 12 minutes each night to look inward, to tend to your own soul's journey. It is a call to quiet reflection.

This idea appeals to me. I am having a busier than usual holiday and a reminder to be quiet, still, and meditate or contemplate, seems a good counter-balance to the noise and rush of the holidays.

Taking time for oneself isn't easy during the holidays, however, it could bring insight into your regular life and deeper joy in your celebrations.

I hope you are able to find some stillness and peace within yourself during this season.

Cynthia

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Cynthia McKenna Counseling
CounselingBlog

Reducing Holiday Stress - Slow Down

A friend, Karl, visited this week, to have lunch and help with a computer question. He is a young man, probably mid-20's, and very bright. He took care of the computer straightaway, and then we enjoyed a burger from PoPo's.

After lunch, we sat around and talked for about 3 hours. That isn't remarkable for many people, but it was a very big deal to me. Here is why:

1. I realized that I don't take the time to sit around and chat very often
2. I am not very good at sitting around and chatting, so I was stretching myself to singletask.
3. I was impressed that he was able and willing to spend time getting to know people he did not really know
4. He wasn't in a rush to get someplace else

It was a real treat - and a learning experience for me. One of my holiday goals is to be more present, more mindful, less frenetic.

I am actually closing my office for a week - actually more than a week - and I will have lots of time to practice being present, here, with my family and friends.

Cynthia

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Cynthia McKenna Counseling
CounselingBlog

Reducing Fido's Holiday Stress

My vet was here this week, giving the dogs their vaccinations. She said that her business is quite slow through the holidays but picks up after January 1.

Now, animals don't actually stop getting sick throughout the holidays, but it seems that many owners put off calling the vet until the new year.

Holiday expenses can add up and yes, the holidays are busy times for many of us. But your pets rely on you to take care of them.

By domesticating the cats and dogs and horses, etc., we have made them dependent on us. They need us to feed them and give them fresh water. The animals need a safe environment where toxic chemicals and dangerous things are out of their reach. And they need people to pay attention and do something if they get sick.

If your sweet (or not so sweet) pet gets sick this holiday season, call your veterinarian. You can also take Puff or Spot to the Emergency clinic.

It is the right thing to do.

Cynthia

Reducing Holiday Stress

For many, this time of year is filled with family, friends, social gatherings, and all the accompanying joy and stress. However, there are many people who are alone this time of year.

Consider spreading a little holiday cheer to an elderly person or shut-in. Invite yourself over for a cup of coffee, or bring some cookies to share. Even a brief visit can mean a lot to someone who is lonely.

Reach out to someone who has no family, or whose family is far away - you'll be glad you did.
Cynthia

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Cynthia McKenna Counseling
CounselingBlog

Holiday Stress - 9 days to go...

I had a one-to-one at the Apple Store yesterday and, en route, experienced road rage - some guy got mad at me - I think he thought I was going to cut him off, but I did not, and he honked and honked and then someone threw something out of their car at me - it was really weird. This was in the parking lot at the shopping center.

How much stress was this guy under? Was his holiday shopping THAT urgent that he would act this way? Did he really need medication for his anger?

When I got to the apple store, I heard stories of customers "going off" on the Apple staff. Calling them names and demanding this or that. 'Tis the season, I guess, but something is seriously wrong if that is what the holidays bring.

We all have our moments of acting out or acting in ways we should not but there is no reason to treat others with disrespect. I am pretty bothered by it all. I have to venture back to the apple store this morning, and I will twice as cautious as I circle the parking lot looking for that elusive parking space

Here is to your peaceful and stress-free Sunday, and if you go out, be extra nice to the people who work in retail and have to deal with a lot of anger during this time of year.

Cynthia

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Cynthia McKenna Counseling
CounselingBlog

Reduce Holiday Stress - Simplify

Holidays are a time for gatherings, parties, and generally fun things. The problem is, sometimes we would rather stay home and not go out...too much of a good thing and all that.

It can be difficult to navigate all the opportunities and obligations that come this time of year. To reduce your holiday stress, consider saying "no" to invitations.

It seems like such a simple thing - to turn down an invitation, but it can be tricky. We can get caught in not wanting to hurt someone's feelings, not wanting to let someone down. We can sometimes be afaid that if we say "no" to this invitation, we will never be invited to anything again.

Reduce your holiday stress by doing MORE of what you want to do and LESS of what you don't want to do - and that includes turning down invitations to events you really don't want to attend.

Cynthia

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Cynthia McKenna Counseling
CounselingBlog

Holiday Stress Sometimes Comes in Small Packages

So - what do YOU do when your fruitcake arrives?

Cynthia
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Cynthia McKenna Counseling
CounselingBlog

Holiday Stress - Families

Holidays and families - they can be a wonderful mix, and sometimes, families can bring on a whole lotta stress.

Think about it - we go to the house we were raised in. In that house are familiar smells, familiar objects, and lots and lots of memories that have been tucked away.

Those memories might be happy ones, but they can just as easily be bad memories, old resentments and unhealthy behavior patterns. Suddenly, you can find yourself acting childish, reacting to others around you, and being generally miserable.

So what can you do?

• If your family always gets into arguments during the holidays, there is every reason to expect arguing this year, too. It is easy to get caught up in wishing that the family were different, or somehow better, or… This wishing is okay, but it can ruin our holidays if we are focusing on the ways people don’t measure up.
• Recognize (and maybe say out loud) that no family is perfect. You might try saying to yourself, “Yes, that is how Grandpa always is,” or even sigh with relief that you have moved out of the dysfunction and now are only a visitor.
• If you need to, don't stay as long at family gatherings. Limiting your time together can also limit the emotional struggles.
• Remember you can always decide to do something different for the holidays. You might be expected to go to family gatherings, but you could choose to travel during the holidays, or stay home with your own family and start new traditions.

Cynthia

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Cynthia McKenna Counseling
CounselingBlog

Reducing Holiday Stress - Think about $$

An awful lot of people overspend during the holidays. Here are a few tips to help avoid getting in financial trouble this year...

1. Plan ahead - decide how much you can spend before you ever leave the house
2. Make a list (and check it twice) so that you will be less tempted to make impulsive purchases
3. Consider drawing names for gift exchange instead of buying something for everyone.
4. Cut back on other extras like eating out and put that money toward your holiday spending
5. The "old standby" of making gifts is really true. A handmade gift is a rare and wonderful thing and can mean a whole lot more than some gift you bought because you "had to get something" Consider cookies, a promise of an outing together, babysitting, etc

Here's to your stress-free holidays
Cynthia
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Cynthia McKenna Counseling
CounselingBlog

Reducing Holiday Stress - Don't Take Yourself too Seriously

While doing a little shopping in Comfort, TX, I stopped in Blackbird Antiques. I met the owner, Karen Farlas, who has a lovely store and two adorable pugs, Molly and Hudson.

Here's Hudson...

Karen has set up a little antique bedroom for the pugs - and they love to get on their beds when customers are around - it was pretty darn cute.

Here is Molly...

It really does help to lighten-up, have a little fun, be a little goofy. I would have enjoyed Blackbird Antiques because Karen has a good eye for antiques, but I absolutely LOVED the shop because of the dear pugs and Karen's funny and dear pug bedroom. Karen let her love of her dogs and her sense of humor shine through.

Laughing reduces stress and has multiple health benefits. "Laughter appears to burn calories, too. Maciej Buchowski, a researcher from Vanderbilt University, conducted a small study in which he measured the amount of calories expended in laughing. It turned out that 10-15 minutes of laughter burned 50 calories." Women's Health - WebMD

Thanks Molly, Hudson, and Karen for making my day!
Cynthia

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Cynthia McKenna Counseling
CounselingBlog

Reducing Holiday Stress - Party Time

Holiday parties can be a lot of fun. I really enjoy getting together with folks for conversation and relaxation.

Here are some tips to reduce your stress at parties

1. Eat before you go
If you are watching calories, a meal or snack before the party will help keep you from overeating

2. If you are going with a friend, date, or spouse, decide together how long you want to stay
Sometimes we think our partner is having fun so we wait on them - when we'd really rather head home - only to find out that they were ready to leave but thought WE wanted to stay

3. Plan how much you want to drink
If you are at a business related function, it is helpful to have a "one drink rule." We've all heard horror stories of someone drinking too much and saying too much or acting out in front of the boss, board of directors, etc.

Also, it is important to have a designated driver so everyone can get home safely

4. Meet new people
Make a point of introducing yourself to 3 people you don't know. Find out their names and how they know the host. You don't have to become best friends, but you might come across someone who will become a good friend.

Here's to reducing your holiday stress!
Cynthia

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Cynthia McKenna Counseling
CounselingBlog

Holiday Stress - So Long Martha Stewart

I think Martha Stewart frequently gets a bad rap. She has built an empire on "good things" and "perfect things" and in general, I say, "more power to you Martha!"

However,

The true meaning of holidays is often lost in the pursuit of the perfect meal, the perfect gift, the perfect family get-together. But perfect doesn't happen, pies burn, people drink too much, the tension builds and it is often made worse by the hope and dream of things being "perfect" this year.

To reduce your stress during the holidays, think about what YOU want, what your family wants and needs and not what any person, media mogul or not, says you should do or should want.

So toss out Gourmet, Bon Appetite, Southern Living - and Martha Stewart Living. Have a cup of tea and talk to the family about what they really like about the holidays, what traditions mean a lot to them, and focus on those things - that is a really good thing.

Here is to your stress-free holidays
Cynthia

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Cynthia McKenna Counseling
CounselingBlog

Friday Night Lights & Holiday Stress

I am a fairly new fan of NBC's Friday Night Lights- it is supposed to be a drama about small town football. To me, it is a well written, beautifully acted drama about how people treat each other, and the common struggles we all share.

I love the show -

Tonight's episode will have something to do with truth-telling...when to tell, what to tell, and what happens when you do tell. It is an issue we all face, to a small or large degree. Even when we are committed to living with integrity, we still face decisions about how much to tell another - whether it be a "white lie" whatever that means, or intentionally hiding the truth...

I wonder how much Holiday Stress has to do with telling the truth. When we are in social situations, work parties, family gatherings, how much pressure do we feel to conceal our feelings and thoughts? Do we have to "go along to get along?" What do we imagine will happen if we tell our truth?

What are your thoughts? How do you navigate the waters of honesty?

Cynthia

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Cynthia McKenna Counseling
CounselingBlog

Reducing Holiday Stress - Staying Healthy

Susan Lowe - a new blogging friend - reminded me of this wonderful quote from Christiane Northrup, MD

I accept myself unconditionally, I am enough, I have enough, I do enough

This is such a powerful tonic this time of year.

During the holidays, there is a push - maybe even a shove - to do more, to prove ourselves and our love. We buy into the fantasies of "If I do this one more thing, then I will be happy," or "If I spend this money, he will love me," etc.

Our ability to love ourselves, to accept ourselves, to cherish ourselves as we are now, will greatly determine whether we experience life as "good" or "bad." That self-love (or lack of self-love) can also influence your stress level during the holidays.

What would it mean if you could offer yourself the gift of self-acceptance this holiday season?

Cynthia

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Cynthia McKenna Counseling
CounselingBlog

A poem for Wednesday...

To Be of Use

The people I love the best
jump into work head first
without dallying in the shallows
and swim off with sure strokes almost out of sight.
They seem to become natives of that element,
the black sleek heads of seals
bouncing like half-submerged balls.

I love people who harness themselves, an ox to a heavy cart,
who pull like water buffalo, with massive patience,
who strain in the mud and the muck to move things forward,
who do what has to be done, again and again.

I want to be with people who submerge
in the task, who go into the fields to harvest
and work in a row and pass the bags along,
who are not parlor generals and field deserters
but move in a common rhythm
when the food must come in or the fire be put out.

The work of the world is common as mud.
Botched, it smears the hands, crumbles to dust.
But the thing worth doing well done
has a shape that satisfies, clean and evident.
Greek amphoras for wine or oil,
Hopi vases that held corn, are put in museums
but you know they were made to be used.
The pitcher cries for water to carry
and a person for work that is real.

Marge Piercy

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Cynthia McKenna Counseling
CounselingBlog

Holiday Stress - Take a Break

It is so easy to get caught up in the busy-ness of the holidays. Parties, shopping, family get-togethers, dealing with snow, etc all take time.

You can reduce your holiday stress by taking time to be still and breathe.

Some people find a daily routine of quiet time, journaling, yoga, etc to be very beneficial. During stressful times, we often let those daily practices go and replace them with rushing around and feeling overwhelmed.

Consider taking a little break during your day - step outside and get a bit of fresh air, turn off the TV and drink your coffee or tea in silence. take a walk during lunch instead of sitting in the break room. You might find these little changes leave you feeling refreshed.

Here's to stress free holidays!
Cynthia

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Cynthia McKenna Counseling
CounselingBlog

Reducing Holiday Stress - Staying Healthy

Stress does a lot of things to our bodies, including lowering our immune system.

Shopping, holiday parties, special concerts, travel - the holiday season can put us in close proximity to a LOT of people and, a lot of germs and viruses.

I am just back from a quick trip to New York City. I did not shop much while I was there, but I did manage to bring back a cold. Did I get my cold germs while watching Wicked, riding the subway, walking through Central Park, at the Museum of Natural History, inside the beautiful 24/7 Apple Store?...I've no idea.

I am good about washing my hands - In fact, I think I am a bit of a raccoon about washing - I got sick anyway.

Today's tip to reduce your holiday stress - Wash Your Hands!

Wash your hands vigorously and frequently. Try to keep your hands away from your face. Consider carrying hand sanitizer for the times when you cannot wash.

If you have children, you might enjoy "Say Boo to the Flu" with lots of information about staying healthy and fun ways to get your kids to wash their hands.

Here is to your health!

Cynthia

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Cynthia McKenna Counseling
www.cynthiamckennacounseling.com
www.CounselingBlog.com

CounselingBlog is here

You know this blog is called CounselingBlog - but now, thanks to Chris Hartwell, you can find CounselingBlog at www.counselingblog.com

You can still get to this blog via www.counseling.typepad.com
and
now you can just type www.counselingblog.com and you'll have instant access to information on health, stress, relationships, depression and the every so often "completely unrelated to counseling" post.

Cynthia

24 Blogging Days

My friend, Dina Giolitto, decided to establish "24 blogging days 'till Christmas"
She sent out a note challenging anyone who wanted to - to write a blog post every day for 24 days.

I like a challenge, so I took her up on it.

Today's blog post has to do with Holiday Stress -

During the holidays - we have opportunities to get together with friends, eat special meals, and have ready access to rich foods and alcohol.

A little indulgence is fairly easy for your body to handle, but a lot of indulgence puts a strain on your body. You can help make the holidays (and 2008) happier by following these tips:
1. Drink more water
2. Continue with your exercise routine
3. Resign from the "clean plate club" Many times we feel we should eat all the food we are served, or that we serve ourselves. It can take practice to learn to take smaller portions, but you can begin by simply not finishing everything on your plate - I think that was an old weight watchers trick - practice leaving some food on your plate to break that habit

Here's to happier holidays

Cynthia